At a certain point in our lives (I do not limit this to a specific age because you have 30 year olds who may get it, and then a 58 year old who may still be totally clueless…) we get to know ourselves. What works for us, what doesn’t. What we can tolerate, and what we are willing to tolerate.
When this point comes, you will find yourself passing on, or walking away from things and people that to the natural eye, seem like a great find, but deep inside you know just will not work for you.
Like myself for instance, I am finding more and more lately that many of my past relationships were established and accepted off of my own fear of being alone. As well as a fear of actually getting completely real with someone. Not ever showing them the real me, but more of what I thought would keep them interested and around.
I am sure we have all been there before – accepting “less” vs. just being alone. Investing so much of ourselves into an individual or relationship with the hopes of somehting great coming out of it, inspite of that person informing us time and again that they are toxic or not looking for the same thing(s) out of a relationship – this can be shown by way of words, attitudes, AND actions. Yet we still worked at the relatonshps because we thought maybe they would change, or we could sacrifice our desires, and change a little for “love”.
But back to that certain point – after a while that selling ourselves short experience no longer suits us. We want more, we realize we deserve more, and want to give more to an authentic relationship. It’s great to realize this when you are alone, and have no active prospects.
But if you are in a similar boat to me, this great realizaton may have hit you smack dab on the head right at the early stage of putting yourself through the “settling for less” wringer once again.
If this is the case for you, I encourage you to have a real (and quick) heart to heart with yourself. Do you want to gamble and waste time on a person or relationship that will just leave you broken, confused, and having to go through the recuperating phase? Or do you want to take a stand, leave the relationship/friendship, and hold out for what you really want?
Please note, I am not encouraging those who seek out a “baller”, or someone to take care of them the rest of their life, without them ever contributing anything.
What I mean by “what you really want” is, someone who will express their appreciation. Someone who is open to talking about a future with you. Someone who KNOWS that their is an interest in you, even if it is just a small seed at the time, and not fully bloomed. Someone who doesn’t leave you waiting by the phone. Someone who doesn’t have to talk to you non-stop throughout the day, but at least will send a word that they are thinking about you.
These are things you are worth. These are things worth waiting for in a relationship. The lack of these things, at least in my opinion, are cause to walk away (early in the “game”), or to not even begin in the first place.
It will not be easy to leave what seems like a great propsect (again, if they only seem great because the only other alternative is being alone), but I hope you will realize you are worth more, and like me walk away, and keep moving forward…
You’re worth it 🙂