Check your Check-in Motives.

From personal experience I just want to say, if you do not mean someone from your past well, and just want to check in on them and see how they’re “surviving” without you, do that person a favor and don’t (check in).

I have never quite understood the reason why past love/like interests feel the need to check back in, knowing full well they don’t mean you any good, but just want to “see what you are up to”. In my opinion that is selfish and highly inconsiderate.

If you are reaching out, not to try to make things right, but only to get your unanswered questions or unresolved issues within yourself settled, I strongly encourage you to think before you reach out. Your selfish motives run the risk of undoing a lot of healing and growth that has taken place.

If someone has begun the getting over you journey, let them keep trucking down that path, in peace!

Just a word to the wise.

With all of that said, I am still sincerely hoping you (the reader) are staying encouraged 🙂

A season of lessons to be learned.

Obviously it has been a bit since I last shared via Carpe. Definitely not because nothing is going on with me, quite the opposite actually. The experiences are not all peaches and roses, but definitely making it through, by the grace of God.

Anyway… I am one who believes in embracing the various seasons of life. I believe that I am currently in a lessons to be learned season. In this season there is more living going on, that has, and will continue to birth lessons and experiences to hopefully draw from and share in the near future.

Nonetheless, I wanted to drop some lines to sincerely state I hope all who view this blog are staying encouraged and pressing on, in whatever life season you currently find yourself in.

More to come… 🙂

Never Beg.

No one has, or ever will fully master life. We are all here trying to make it through, as best as possible, for Believers (myself included), relying on the help of the Lord.

Because of this fact, and merely being human, we are bound to make mistakes and hurt others. Unfortunately, sometimes the “others” are those we greatly care for. In these instances, we may get the urge to beg for forgiveness. Although I am a firm believer in apologizing and doing all that you can to get things right with others, I think it harmful to your health and esteem, to beg and beg for others to try and see things your way (your well intentions), accept your apology, and let you back in their life (rebuild the relationship).

If you have done all that you can, i.e., apologized sincerely, made necessary mindset and actionable changes to back up your apology, you may just need to let go, and let God. Let God heal you, and let God heal the other person/parties involved.

It is not healthy to continually wallow in regret and belittle yourself, in the process of trying to convince someone to believe that you genuinely are for them. No matter how sincere you are, some things can only be revealed by the Lord Himself.

If you find yourself on the begging for forgiveness / another chance boat, get things right, as much as is possible with you, and then get off that thing! Your actions and true intentions are sure to eventually shine through – Hand the issue/relationship/whatever, over to God and trust that He can and will work things together for your good.

Again, ask for forgiveness, get it right (as much as possible), and hand it over to Jesus.

To you, and to myself I say, never beg.

Holding on – I pray the same for you!

Worth the investment.

Something really cool happened to me recently – I pampered myself. Not because I was stressed or depressed and needed a pick me up, but because it clicked (in a major way) that I am worth investing in myself, as I am, and where I am now.

During this pampering I took the time to remove ALL the previous nail polish from my hands and feet. I then glossed them up and put on something I had stashed away for just the right occasion. I decided that that night was just the right occasion I needed!

How I was looking and feeling, you would’ve thought I was prepping for a fierce girl’s night out, but I wasn’t. It was just for me… I felt empowered and honored to be treating myself to such much needed TLC (tender love and care) without apparent cause.

Even in the midst of this global pandemic (COVID-19), we are still being allotted precious, valuable time and days on the Earth. Personally, I am working on not waiting around for some “big” event to be scheduled, or a love interest or flirty dating activity to come along before I present my best physical self. I feel when you just present your best self in order to impress, all that fanciness will go out the door when it’s just you, and I am sorry, but we are worth 24/7 fanciness…

*Please note, fanciness can and does mean different things to different people.

All in all, I am just encouraged to maintain a standard that is important for me to keep, regardless of what’s going on, or who is or is not around.

I am worth the investment – I believe you are too!

Staying encouraged, believing, and hoping the same for you!

Something good.

I am learning to check myself when insecurity tries to seep in, and I begin to think that I have to do the establishing and sustaining where the Lord places me, whether professionally, socially, etc.

As Believers, God does our establishing, and where He leads, He feeds (supplies the necessary tools, skills etc. needed for us to not only survive (make it), but thrive)!

When I feel like I have to personally fight or make something happen within my own power/might, I begin to second guess my abilities, giftings, and/or just the overall flare that God has specially granted me.

I am finding as I continue to walk out and trust what the Word states – God will establish me, He will fight my battles, it is He who grants me success, I take a step back, breathe, and repent for relying on my own ability vs God’s. I then just shake it off, and boldly get back in there and by faith, continue to walk out the ordered steps before me.

As Believers we don’t have to try and make things happen on our own, or be shaken by how things appear. We can confidently trust that God is with us, and what He has prepared for us is something good…

Staying encouraged, I pray the same for you!

Scripture References (just a few): Deuteronomy 28:9, II Thessalonians 2:16-17, Exodus 14:14, Deuteronomy 3:22, Joshua 1:8

Shine, unapologetically.

I think it’s time to get to the place where you’re tired of selling yourself short (gifts, ideas, overall awesomeness)…

If God has blessed you with an ability or gift (“great” or “small”), don’t sit and hide it under a bushel – Shine bright and let what God has done for/given you ring!

I’m not in any way stating we should be prideful or walk in the delusion of thinking we are perfect, but there is a coolness about confidently knowing and rocking what you got.

Be bold, and hold your head up. Being blessed by God is a privilege. Being one of His people is even more of a privilege!

Don’t be afraid to shine, unapologetically – Honestly speaking, some things just can’t be hidden anyway…

Staying encouraged, I hope the same for you!

Be selective.

I am finding that there are areas of my life where it is extremely important to be selective. Just a few of these areas are, my thinking/thoughts, my words (or lack of), and the company I keep.

Regarding my thinking – Thoughts have a great influence not only on what we say, but also on what we do. I am thankful that I’m realizing I have power over what I choose to think/dwell on. I am also thankful for the given examples from the Word, on what to think on (Philippians 4:8). When I choose to think on the lovely things, the things of good report, etc., my whole attitude shifts, which then can put a positive tone in motion for my words.

Regarding my words (or lack of) – I continue to believe the Lord for deliverance on choosing my words more carefully, as well as knowing when to just shut up (be quiet). Sometimes comments/suggestions/opinions are neither required nor desired. I pray for discernment on this, as even the Word states, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent” (Proverbs 17:28a NLT).

Lastly, regarding the company I keep – I am a true witness that when you begin (and follow through on) being selective on the company you keep, you may feel lead to let some things and/or people go. Not necessarily labeling them as horrible or anything, but sometimes you just need to let go. This experience can feel pretty lonely at times.

When the loneliness hits, you can feel tempted to second guess your decision, but I am thankful for the strength to press through that feeling and be obedient to the prompting/leading of the Lord.

Choosing to be selective may not start off easy, but I pray that I stay encouraged during the process, and know, trust, and believe that in the long run, being selective is a benefit, not a setback.

Staying encouraged – I pray the same for you!!

The thief of comparison.

Real talk, it has taken me longer than I would’ve liked to just be cool with who the Lord has blessed me to be as a person (flaws and all). I find in this life it can be so easy to fall into the trap of comparing your life to that of another.

Getting in competition/comparison mode robs us of our own personalized experiences, opportunities, times of celebrations, as well as the chance to show love and celebrate with others.

The truth is there will always be the temptation/urge to compare ourselves to others, as there will always be someone smaller (or bigger), brighter, more eloquent, more knowledgeable, successful, or likable. These things do not change the fact that we are valuable, have purpose, and are the bomb!

Again, I say that I’m realizing and believing that life is a personalized journey – no one can walk it out (your journey), quite like you can. So let’s not allow the thief of comparison to rob us any further!

For me I say, I am making the choice to feel good about myself – my highs and lows, flaws, and features (both physical and non), just my story in general.

I pray that I continue to trust that God has made me enough, even if I do need a spiritual slap in the face reminder from time to time… 🙂

Staying encouraged, I pray the same for you…

What’s the rush?

In my not so distant past, I was quick to fall into romantic feelings with the opposite sex. Whether it was just from a common understanding or experience, a shared personality trait, physical desire, or sheer loneliness – I jumped the gun on opening up my heart extremely prematurely, which often times left great damage to myself and/or the other party involved.

As of late the Lord has really been healing and helping me with this character flaw, but I first had to admit that I had a problem/wasn’t the best at guarding my heart.

As a recovering “know it all” (still a work in progress), it was somewhat difficult to admit that although professionally I had it mostly together, romantically I was a hot mess. Once I did, the healing began.

Although some day I desire the bomb connection of a mate, of course on the same spiritual, Jesus loving flow as I, that day is not today, and that’s ok.

In this time of healing and help, I am becoming able to not only articulate and communicate what I desire in a mate, but also what I desire in and from myself – the type of woman that I am currently, as well as the type I hope to become, to not only be the best version of myself for me, but also for a future spouse, family, etc.

This life of mine is personalized by the Master, and I am digging each step of the way – struggles, excitements, victories, downtimes, items yet to be revealed, and all!

Romance, as great and wonderful as it can, and what I believe I’ll witness it to be, I still say to myself, what’s the rush?…

I am enjoying and taking in all that the here and now has to offer… I’m thankful for strength and courage with, and through this.

Staying encouraged – Praying the same for you!

God’s will, not my own.

Fairly often the Lord places specific individuals on my heart to reach out to, and send some appreciation/love. I dig this as I am fond of encouraging others, but there are times where I am hesitant and talk myself out of this task.

The reason for the hesitation varies, but is often due to the fear of coming across as weird (the individual wondering why I am reaching out to them or saying what I am saying). Another reason is the fear of coming across as flirty or having a crush. This fear comes into play specifically when being urged to reach out to members of the opposite sex.

The result of these fears taking over, is me aborting the encouragement mission the Lord assigned to me for that day/moment/etc.

I frequently say to the Lord, “Use me – I am available – I want to be used by You” – These are sincere statements, but I am realizing that in being used, sometimes there is the risk of coming across as weird, or guys may think I am flirting with them or have a crush, but that should not stop me from walking out what the Lord is asking of me.

As a Believer I am already of a peculiar fold, so I am deciding to stop running from that fact, and just embrace it!

I am making the daily choice to truly live out the declaration of “Not my will, but Yours (God’s) be done in my life”, even if I have to walk out this statement in discomfort, fear, or with the risk of coming across as a weirdo (no offense with this term).

God’s will, not my own – That’s my aim.

Staying encouraged, I hope the same for you!