As of late I have been honestly evaluating my life and the relationships and mindsets I hold, inviting the Lord into the mix to help me see myself and behave in a way that is aligned with how He sees me. A specific area that I’ll share in this post is facing the possibility of rejection from others. It has been years since I intentionally took the risk of letting my guard down and been open to being known by others deeper than surface level smiles.
Often, when I get to the point where I let a little bit of my authentic self be shown to others, mainly in small groups, I go into fight or flight mode. Regularly choosing flight, I get the heck out of dodge either by extended absences in a group membership or swiftly and smoothly exiting the premises of a social event to save face from what I deemed as risky, self-revealing behavior. It’s not even that I am some rude jerk or have some off the wall humor or beliefs (let’s say not 100% of the time 😊), I just shy away from being known.
Don’t get me wrong, I am totally fine with flying solo, I prefer it, but when being alone becomes more of a defense mechanism that I run to, thus causing burned bridges of potential or sure relationships, then the solo thing becomes a problem…
In part I am sure this fear of rejection comes from past relationship hurts, or feeling embarrassed that I took a friendship more to heart than others involved, but despite the reasoning, I think I am just tired of running from the pain and embarrassment resulting in regrets.
Being honest with myself, I’ve done enough of the flight. Perhaps it’s time I stop running, trying to protect myself from possible rejection and hurt from others, and just stand in faith, being open to truly loving people, knowing that God is with me, and He’ll see me through any relational obstacle that may possibly arise.
Pressing on and growing in faith – I pray the same for you!