Tag: relationships

Know that you’re the “S” (stuff).

Rejection that can follow when a (potential) relationship doesn’t turn out as you’d hoped sucks, but do you know what sucks even more? When we allow the result of said “potential” relationship to cause us to forget who the heck we are, and what we are worth!

I get angry with myself when I allow rejection or an unsuccessful (potential) relationship to cause me to question my personality, my unwavering relationship standards, or my choice to just pass on it (the person or potential relationship).

I think being without a relationship for a bit can cause one to question whether they are being unrealistic or demanding, so after the initial shock and pain of letting someone go, I would strongly suggest taking a beat, and snapping out of the emotions that may ensue. If you have set deal breakers prior to getting involved with someone, they more than likely are you being real with yourself and honestly identifying what you can and cannot (or will and will not) tolerate.

Although it can get lonely out here as a single person, (😊) knowing that you’re the “S” allows the ability to shake embarrassing and hurtful situations off, and keep it moving, gracefully, without animosity, anger, guilt or shame toward yourself or others.

Let’s stop returning to vomit* (the people/relationships you know are no good for you, whether the party intentionally hurts you or not) and embrace the unknown. Know that you are the “S”, and that God’s got you…

Staying encouraged, and TRULY hoping the same for you!

*“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.”

~Proverbs 26:11 New Living Translation

Heart vs mind (head) and trusting the Lord.

Heart vs mind is a tricky balancing act for me. In my younger years, I was for sure more of a heart over mind type of gal. Strong emotions, passion, and feelings guided many of the actions I took, especially when it came to personal relationships. I strongly believed that since I was an awesome person (my personal opinion here – You better know you are awesome for yourself – just saying 😊), everyone I met would just adore me, treat me well, and have my best interest in mind. Various life experiences and lessons shifted this way of thinking, more towards the all-mind (using your head/logic only) end of the spectrum.

For me, the all-mind (head) thinking ran the risk of me becoming jaded, bitter, hard, and closed off from the world and others. In my specific case, it wasn’t that I was hard, angry and unfriendly, quite the opposite, as I love being friendly. It’s something everyone has an equal ability to do, just at different levels and expressive routes. My thing was more of I just didn’t choose to let anyone in – shallow relationships were just fine – you know, the casual greetings, sincere well wishes, but getting to know me – know me, was out of the question. I didn’t want to get hurt or disappoint myself by being so carefree and unguarded, that I unintentionally let the wrong person/people in.

The question then became, “how do you balance using both heart and mind (when it comes to relationships)?”. One word rings out loud and clear to me here, and that is WISDOM!

I pray that I continue to invite the Lord into the mix, and utilize His kind of wisdom as I am granted opportunities to try again at being willing to open up and get to know people, as well as allowing them to know me.

Y’ all pray for me as I step back out in faith on this.

Staying encouraged, hoping the same for you!

*Feel free to refer to “Don’t start none, won’t be none” for a share on using wisdom when contemplating starting something up.

Don’t start none, won’t be none.

I am thankful for the lessons learned from many of my life experiences, thus far – believing the Lord for even more, as I continue to press on 🙂

Due to being in the midst of summer nights, one lesson that comes to mind is that from times I became entangled with “like” interests, at an inopportune time (out of season).

Occasionally I miss the entertainment of a “like” interest – the giggles, smiles, and cool conversations. Unfortunately, what I found, at least during “focused seasons” which I strongly believe I am in now, is the situation with a “like” interest becomes too overwhelming. After a bit, I would get fully engulfed in attraction and time-consuming behavior that ended up pulling me away from the things that truly should have been a priority at the time. Plainly put, I became distracted.

The “harmless” smiles and giggles eventually turned into frustration and annoyance – Not necessarily because of the other person, but more so because a relationship got started before its time. In some instances, nothing should have gotten started in the first place, but that’s a whole other post!

All in all, I now see, pertaining to out of season romantic relationships and all that come with them, if I don’t start none, won’t be none. So again, lesson learned…

Staying focused and encouraged, sincerely hoping the same for you all!