Tag: love

Love does cost something.

This Resurrection weekend (Good Friday, Resurrection Sunday, and the quiet day in-between) I read a devotional that shut down a popular cultural belief I held, which is “love don’t cost a thing”, but it does. We can look at Christ’s example and see that real love walks out what it represents. Jesus didn’t just come to earth to declare with words (sermons) His power, authority, and love for this world (the people therein). He showed this through action, laying down His life, and not just staying down, but rising with ALL power in His hands, so that humanity could be made free.

In my own personal walk (life) I am beginning to identify ways where I could better walk out the cost of love. Rather than spending much of my time in the comfort of my favorite alone space, I can sacrifice some personal time and check-in with others, maybe watch a movie or play a game of Skip-Bo or Speed. I could forfeit a Sunday afternoon nap and accept a dinner invitation from family or friends – This one is tough as sometimes I feel like Sunday evening is my prime recharge time before the work week starts back-up, but maybe the sacrifice of my alone time every now and then, for some relationship building would actually refresh me in a different, more quality way.

In addition to love costing some personal time, it can also cost the risk of letting your guard down and getting to know and be known by others in a deeper way. I know me and I am comfortable being alone, but people do need people. I am recognizing that need more and more as I am getting older. You can do life (mostly) alone, but I ask and have to get real with myself on whether I really want to…

So, I encourage you as I encourage me, to keep identifying and paying the cost of love. Its fruit (the result of love) shows the investment is worth it.

*Please note, the love referenced in this post is not primarily of the romantic kind, but of the 1 Corinthians 13:1 – 8a kind. 😊

Disrupt discord.

Have you ever experienced a season where lines of communication were just off? You and someone you hold near and dear just cannot seem to be on the same page. Jokes or trying to take something lightly are taken the wrong way, whether it’s coming from you or them. Then feelings are hurt and silence or off attitudes begin to develop. This is a prime example of discord trying to plant a seed, and it sucks.

Discord will make you feel like you’re on an island on your own and cannot trust nor share honest feelings with those who have been proven to be tried and true. This then leads to either giving the cold shoulder, cutting off all reasonable communication, or even worse, going off, engaging in an argument, and saying things you’ll later regret.

When things seem off and discord takes root, it has the potential to strain and ruin even the best of relationships. In my experience, to avoid this from happening, it is best to take these moments with a grain of salt vs taking them to heart. You never know what someone is going through which may not have anything to do with you but can cause things to be taken a certain way. Or perhaps your approach or how you’re presenting your words are laced with a hint of something “off”, whether it’s tone or whatever (intentional or not).

To avoid lasting damage and hurt feelings, what I’ve experienced and found to help is lots of grace – me giving even more than the amount that I am seeking. You can also partake in silent walk-aways vs saying something you’ll later possibly regret – you can apologize but once words are out (leave the mouth gate), they are out there, risking the chance to wreak havoc, causing considerable damage.

No relationship is perfect, and no person is perfect. Views/perceptions change; feelings/emotions change, so when/if you sense something is off in communication with those you hold near and dear, it’s worth taking a pause, not assuming the worst, and guarding your mouth and actions from potential relational damage.

I am diligently working on walking this out… Staying encouraged, I hope you are as well!

Risk vs Reward – Being Known by and Knowing Others.

If you follow my writing within this blog, you have probably noticed that I have not written in a bit. It’s not necessarily that I haven’t had anything to say, but sometimes I go through seasons of life where I just live/walk events out, obtaining teachable moments (lessons) to write about in the future to hopefully encourage and inspire myself and possibly others. That season is in motion now, mixed with a tad bit of procrastination and a busy schedule. Nevertheless, here I am today 😊

I want to share on a recent “walking it out” event that the Lord has granted me an opportunity to search deeper within and not only learn more about myself, but also heal from some mindsets of the past, to become a better me.

Regarding taking necessary steps in being open to being known by and knowing others… It has been YEARS since I considered getting to know people on a personal, deeper level, or even allowing them the opportunity to get to truly know me. This avoidance of connection was a result of past hurts. Some hurt caused by others, some caused by me, to myself and to others. I have cringed at the thought of getting close to people again due to the fear of rejection or making relational mistakes of either causing offense, or possibly having a day or two of behaving not so nicely. It was hard for me to believe that unconditional, easily forgiving relationships are still possible. I’ve found as I’ve stopped trying to be the perfect colleague, social member, daughter or friend, I have more freedom in being myself and showing authentic interest, love, and appreciation.

I think there is always the risk of being misunderstood or possibly hurting others, we’re human, but choosing not to be run by that fear allows so much freedom and authentic relationship building. This in turn limits the possibility of lashing out or crawling into a ball when mistakes are made. Not saying this will not happen, but the aim is to limit these extremes 😊.

When getting to know others and allowing them to know you, hopefully you’ll have the courage to genuinely own and seek forgiveness for mistakes as they come and identify ways in thinking or actions that will help these mistakes get far and in between. This mindset should also encourage you to easily forgive others as well.

For me, I no longer am seeking ultimate perfection from myself, in what I say, think, or do, but aiming to intentionally have kind, thoughtful, grace seasoned words and actions. As I do this, I strongly believe the reward of getting to know others and them getting to know me will outweigh the perceived risks.

Keep pressing on!

The swap out.

Sometimes I get so preoccupied with me, how I’m feeling, what I’m going through, that I forget that many of us are just trying to get through life, the best we know how. So, to ignite a better outlook, I began to think about the below swap outs…

In my loneliness, perhaps I take a moment to pray for others who may be feeling lonely, that they find a healthy outlet to show love, be love, and find love and acceptance.

In my pain and discomfort of feeling misunderstood, perhaps I remember to take the time to try and understand someone else, where they’re coming from, their perspective – just hearing people out (the whole matter) before jumping to conclusions based on how I perceive them and their tone. There may be the slight possibility that how we take things could be off a bit from how they are truly being given (spoken/said). It may help more to assume the best in people’s communication style, vs the worst – Definitely NOT saying people may never come from a rude or disrespectful place, but let’s try to not assume that route from the jump.

In my impatience of waiting on change, from the inside out of me, perhaps I take it easy on myself a bit and be thankful for the parts of me that are already strong and make an impact for the better, i.e., positive outlook, going hard for my family, resilience, aiming to always show love. Not saying the strong and impactful parts of our character don’t need constant building and strengthening, but the point is we have things we can celebrate about ourselves NOW vs until such and such happens…

In my anxiety about the future and trying to always piece things/paths together as I think they should be, perhaps I just truly let go and let God. This is an amazing statement to make, but for me at times, it’s easier to say than to walk out. I let go and let God for a moment, then I pick things back up thinking I’ll just give God a little help, knowing full well “my little help” is more so pacifying my need to have some type of control over the situation.

In my horrible habit of trying to maintain control over what little I believe I have control over, perhaps I surrender and take on the peace of God which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV). Maybe that peace doesn’t have to be a one and done moment/experience. Maybe the peace effect can be a life-long experience, a constant place of rest and confidence that God is not only in control, but He loves me enough to have good thoughts and plans for me, regardless of the rugged path life sometimes takes (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV).

I’m thankful for the possibility to swap out not so great habits and ways of handling things, for new ones. Pray for me as I press on, taking steps toward change for the better – I’ll do the same for you 😊