Tag: self-improvement

Risk vs Reward – Being Known by and Knowing Others.

If you follow my writing within this blog, you have probably noticed that I have not written in a bit. It’s not necessarily that I haven’t had anything to say, but sometimes I go through seasons of life where I just live/walk events out, obtaining teachable moments (lessons) to write about in the future to hopefully encourage and inspire myself and possibly others. That season is in motion now, mixed with a tad bit of procrastination and a busy schedule. Nevertheless, here I am today 😊

I want to share on a recent “walking it out” event that the Lord has granted me an opportunity to search deeper within and not only learn more about myself, but also heal from some mindsets of the past, to become a better me.

Regarding taking necessary steps in being open to being known by and knowing others… It has been YEARS since I considered getting to know people on a personal, deeper level, or even allowing them the opportunity to get to truly know me. This avoidance of connection was a result of past hurts. Some hurt caused by others, some caused by me, to myself and to others. I have cringed at the thought of getting close to people again due to the fear of rejection or making relational mistakes of either causing offense, or possibly having a day or two of behaving not so nicely. It was hard for me to believe that unconditional, easily forgiving relationships are still possible. I’ve found as I’ve stopped trying to be the perfect colleague, social member, daughter or friend, I have more freedom in being myself and showing authentic interest, love, and appreciation.

I think there is always the risk of being misunderstood or possibly hurting others, we’re human, but choosing not to be run by that fear allows so much freedom and authentic relationship building. This in turn limits the possibility of lashing out or crawling into a ball when mistakes are made. Not saying this will not happen, but the aim is to limit these extremes 😊.

When getting to know others and allowing them to know you, hopefully you’ll have the courage to genuinely own and seek forgiveness for mistakes as they come and identify ways in thinking or actions that will help these mistakes get far and in between. This mindset should also encourage you to easily forgive others as well.

For me, I no longer am seeking ultimate perfection from myself, in what I say, think, or do, but aiming to intentionally have kind, thoughtful, grace seasoned words and actions. As I do this, I strongly believe the reward of getting to know others and them getting to know me will outweigh the perceived risks.

Keep pressing on!

The swap out.

Sometimes I get so preoccupied with me, how I’m feeling, what I’m going through, that I forget that many of us are just trying to get through life, the best we know how. So, to ignite a better outlook, I began to think about the below swap outs…

In my loneliness, perhaps I take a moment to pray for others who may be feeling lonely, that they find a healthy outlet to show love, be love, and find love and acceptance.

In my pain and discomfort of feeling misunderstood, perhaps I remember to take the time to try and understand someone else, where they’re coming from, their perspective – just hearing people out (the whole matter) before jumping to conclusions based on how I perceive them and their tone. There may be the slight possibility that how we take things could be off a bit from how they are truly being given (spoken/said). It may help more to assume the best in people’s communication style, vs the worst – Definitely NOT saying people may never come from a rude or disrespectful place, but let’s try to not assume that route from the jump.

In my impatience of waiting on change, from the inside out of me, perhaps I take it easy on myself a bit and be thankful for the parts of me that are already strong and make an impact for the better, i.e., positive outlook, going hard for my family, resilience, aiming to always show love. Not saying the strong and impactful parts of our character don’t need constant building and strengthening, but the point is we have things we can celebrate about ourselves NOW vs until such and such happens…

In my anxiety about the future and trying to always piece things/paths together as I think they should be, perhaps I just truly let go and let God. This is an amazing statement to make, but for me at times, it’s easier to say than to walk out. I let go and let God for a moment, then I pick things back up thinking I’ll just give God a little help, knowing full well “my little help” is more so pacifying my need to have some type of control over the situation.

In my horrible habit of trying to maintain control over what little I believe I have control over, perhaps I surrender and take on the peace of God which surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7 NKJV). Maybe that peace doesn’t have to be a one and done moment/experience. Maybe the peace effect can be a life-long experience, a constant place of rest and confidence that God is not only in control, but He loves me enough to have good thoughts and plans for me, regardless of the rugged path life sometimes takes (Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV).

I’m thankful for the possibility to swap out not so great habits and ways of handling things, for new ones. Pray for me as I press on, taking steps toward change for the better – I’ll do the same for you 😊

Inward Resolutions – Change IS possible.

A few goals (resolutions) of mine, stated prior to the new year, which I still plan on running with within this new year, is maintaining a new attitude, remaining present, and accepting things as they are, vs how I think they should be. What I like about these goals is that they contribute to inward changes in me, which I hope will spill over into outward changes, not only affecting my body, but also my actions and relationships.

The phrase attitude makes the difference is true stuff. Our attitudes affect everything that we do, and what we think about. Since where my mind leads my body and attitude often follow, I want to be more disciplined in what I choose to think about to maintain a new positive attitude and outlook.

In remaining present, I shrug off the past and focus on the here and now. In the not-so-distant past, I had a horrible habit of holding on to regrets. The truth regarding regrets is I have no remote to change those things. What I can do now is learn from those regrets, and utilize those lessons in the present, in hopes of limiting regrettable acts from here on out.   

Accepting what is vs what could possibly be allows me to relinquish control. This is a big one for me, as I often like having things/plans clearly laid out, step by step, leaving no space for adjustments. Unfortunately, I have been known to get bent out of shape, falling off a set course, if anything in my plan was misplaced or altered in the slightest way. This mentality robbed me from chances to learn how to roll with the punches of life with ease. I also missed out on the possibility of getting an even better plan and route the Lord may have had for me. Now, rather than using most of my energy on trying to prevent hiccups and changes in my set plans, I will be open and accept that I do not know it all, and do not have to have it all clearly laid out – This is a great bonus of having a Savior and the gift of the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide me each step of the way 😊

The shared inward goals within this post will NOT be my only aims of the new year (or my life), but declaring a few desired resolutions is a great start to an even better me. Life is a journey that offers numerous opportunities for growth and to embrace change if we are mindful and open to it.

I pray we all do not shy away from declaring some of our inward change desires out loud, taking the necessary steps to get them in motion, and relying on God to do the rest. Change IS possible.

Keep pressing on all!