Tag: confidence

Snap out of it.

Sometimes I take a moment to look back over my life thinking about old experiences – reviewing old journal entries and/or posts, and smile as I identify eras of my life where I just seemed to have it together. I stood strong in my values and beliefs, I had consistent outside enjoyable interests, as well as external relationships I sowed into, built and maintained. To me, these were eras of victory, eras of flourishing.

An era of victory definitely was NOT what I’ve been feeling over the past few weeks. I actually found myself in a bit of a funk – feeling defeated, feeling lonely, feeling less than enough due to feeling so far from some of the goals and desires I currently have or imagined I’d attain by this point in my life. These feelings were dragging me down. My thoughts were, I want to be healthier, I want a life outside of work, I want to be better off financially, and honestly, I just want to like myself again.  

I was in a rut that was not only affecting myself, my thinking, my energy, my mental capabilities (being more negative vs positive), but I also identified that I was bickering more frequently with those I love. I found that I was highly critical of them and myself, and I just lacked bounce back. When a fiery dart from the enemy was thrown at me by way of a personal or professional hiccup or misunderstanding, I totally left my shield of faith by my side vs igniting that tool to combat those snares.

In seeking a way to snap out of it, I recognized some things that were missing from my life that I could do to assist with escaping the “rut”. I could partake in estimable acts – things that I enjoy that make me feel good about me such as walking, journaling, or signing up and ATTENDING a course of interest. I also identified that during this time there was a deficit in how I was treating myself – no regular sleep or eating pattern, lacking water and physical activity, just not being good to me.

I’ve heard often that when you look good you feel good. It’s easy to think that the “looking good” refers to our outside (physical traits) but for me, looking good entails looking good from the inside out. I strongly believe both have a positive effect on feeling good.

As these things have been revealed to me through seeking guidance from the Lord and taking an honest look at myself, cause and effect has been revealed, now is the time for action, taking the necessary steps to feel good about me. So, here we go…

Staying encouraged, I pray the same for you!

Relieved to be relieved.

I recently heard a sermon on flourishing in faith and love in the New Year (2023). I was reminded of the importance of letting things go, to avoid bitterness from taking root in your heart. Since allowing this wonderful Word reminder to fall on the good ground of my heart, it has been revealed that a lot of the things I need to let go of and forgive, are my own actions toward myself.

Many of my past actions proved me to be one of my worst enemies. I acted foolishly when it came to seeking acceptance, love, confidence, and inner peace. Rather than choosing to learn from my mistakes I often became annoyed, upset and embarrassed at myself. Memories and even old songs from specific eras would cause me to ask myself “how could you have been so stupid?”, “how embarrassing”, “how incomplete and messed up were we?..”. I looked back with so much regret and shame.

The above were feelings I put on myself, no doubt the flame being fanned by the enemy, who of course seeks nothing but to steal, kill and destroy. I had to decide to TRULY start seeing myself how God sees me. Not necessarily only in the present, but even how He looks at my past mistakes. I am beginning to fully take God at His Word, believing that He is giving me beauty for ashes, that He causes all things to work together for my good, even the insecure stupid acts of the past – How specifically? I am not sure, but I trust Him.

As of late, when I look back on my past, I celebrate that the Lord has brought me from a mighty long way. I give thanks that God didn’t leave me where I was. I have joy and am amazed that I now hold the character traits I thought I would never have the strength and courage to possess, such as self-control over certain thoughts and actions, saying goodbye to relationships and people that weren’t the best for me (or I for them), as well as setting and keeping personal boundaries and standards. Not only are these things active in my life, but they are getting strengthened each day, as I continue to surrender to the Lord, ask for His help, and remain open to spiritual pruning (old mindsets being renewed, toxic defense mechanisms being released and removed).

I released and continue to release myself from my own mistakes and stupidity of the past, as I have asked and received the gift of salvation, repentance, and renewal from the Lord. I pray I continue to trust God’s process with me, going from faith to faith, forgetting those things that are behind and pressing ahead.

I truly am relieved to be relieved of my own self-inflicted pain of the past.

Pressing on, I pray you continue to press on as well!

Know that you’re the “S” (stuff).

Rejection that can follow when a (potential) relationship doesn’t turn out as you’d hoped sucks, but do you know what sucks even more? When we allow the result of said “potential” relationship to cause us to forget who the heck we are, and what we are worth!

I get angry with myself when I allow rejection or an unsuccessful (potential) relationship to cause me to question my personality, my unwavering relationship standards, or my choice to just pass on it (the person or potential relationship).

I think being without a relationship for a bit can cause one to question whether they are being unrealistic or demanding, so after the initial shock and pain of letting someone go, I would strongly suggest taking a beat, and snapping out of the emotions that may ensue. If you have set deal breakers prior to getting involved with someone, they more than likely are you being real with yourself and honestly identifying what you can and cannot (or will and will not) tolerate.

Although it can get lonely out here as a single person, (😊) knowing that you’re the “S” allows the ability to shake embarrassing and hurtful situations off, and keep it moving, gracefully, without animosity, anger, guilt or shame toward yourself or others.

Let’s stop returning to vomit* (the people/relationships you know are no good for you, whether the party intentionally hurts you or not) and embrace the unknown. Know that you are the “S”, and that God’s got you…

Staying encouraged, and TRULY hoping the same for you!

*“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.”

~Proverbs 26:11 New Living Translation