Tag: growth

Disrupt discord.

Have you ever experienced a season where lines of communication were just off? You and someone you hold near and dear just cannot seem to be on the same page. Jokes or trying to take something lightly are taken the wrong way, whether it’s coming from you or them. Then feelings are hurt and silence or off attitudes begin to develop. This is a prime example of discord trying to plant a seed, and it sucks.

Discord will make you feel like you’re on an island on your own and cannot trust nor share honest feelings with those who have been proven to be tried and true. This then leads to either giving the cold shoulder, cutting off all reasonable communication, or even worse, going off, engaging in an argument, and saying things you’ll later regret.

When things seem off and discord takes root, it has the potential to strain and ruin even the best of relationships. In my experience, to avoid this from happening, it is best to take these moments with a grain of salt vs taking them to heart. You never know what someone is going through which may not have anything to do with you but can cause things to be taken a certain way. Or perhaps your approach or how you’re presenting your words are laced with a hint of something “off”, whether it’s tone or whatever (intentional or not).

To avoid lasting damage and hurt feelings, what I’ve experienced and found to help is lots of grace – me giving even more than the amount that I am seeking. You can also partake in silent walk-aways vs saying something you’ll later possibly regret – you can apologize but once words are out (leave the mouth gate), they are out there, risking the chance to wreak havoc, causing considerable damage.

No relationship is perfect, and no person is perfect. Views/perceptions change; feelings/emotions change, so when/if you sense something is off in communication with those you hold near and dear, it’s worth taking a pause, not assuming the worst, and guarding your mouth and actions from potential relational damage.

I am diligently working on walking this out… Staying encouraged, I hope you are as well!

Risk vs Reward – Being Known by and Knowing Others.

If you follow my writing within this blog, you have probably noticed that I have not written in a bit. It’s not necessarily that I haven’t had anything to say, but sometimes I go through seasons of life where I just live/walk events out, obtaining teachable moments (lessons) to write about in the future to hopefully encourage and inspire myself and possibly others. That season is in motion now, mixed with a tad bit of procrastination and a busy schedule. Nevertheless, here I am today 😊

I want to share on a recent “walking it out” event that the Lord has granted me an opportunity to search deeper within and not only learn more about myself, but also heal from some mindsets of the past, to become a better me.

Regarding taking necessary steps in being open to being known by and knowing others… It has been YEARS since I considered getting to know people on a personal, deeper level, or even allowing them the opportunity to get to truly know me. This avoidance of connection was a result of past hurts. Some hurt caused by others, some caused by me, to myself and to others. I have cringed at the thought of getting close to people again due to the fear of rejection or making relational mistakes of either causing offense, or possibly having a day or two of behaving not so nicely. It was hard for me to believe that unconditional, easily forgiving relationships are still possible. I’ve found as I’ve stopped trying to be the perfect colleague, social member, daughter or friend, I have more freedom in being myself and showing authentic interest, love, and appreciation.

I think there is always the risk of being misunderstood or possibly hurting others, we’re human, but choosing not to be run by that fear allows so much freedom and authentic relationship building. This in turn limits the possibility of lashing out or crawling into a ball when mistakes are made. Not saying this will not happen, but the aim is to limit these extremes 😊.

When getting to know others and allowing them to know you, hopefully you’ll have the courage to genuinely own and seek forgiveness for mistakes as they come and identify ways in thinking or actions that will help these mistakes get far and in between. This mindset should also encourage you to easily forgive others as well.

For me, I no longer am seeking ultimate perfection from myself, in what I say, think, or do, but aiming to intentionally have kind, thoughtful, grace seasoned words and actions. As I do this, I strongly believe the reward of getting to know others and them getting to know me will outweigh the perceived risks.

Keep pressing on!

Relieved to be relieved.

I recently heard a sermon on flourishing in faith and love in the New Year (2023). I was reminded of the importance of letting things go, to avoid bitterness from taking root in your heart. Since allowing this wonderful Word reminder to fall on the good ground of my heart, it has been revealed that a lot of the things I need to let go of and forgive, are my own actions toward myself.

Many of my past actions proved me to be one of my worst enemies. I acted foolishly when it came to seeking acceptance, love, confidence, and inner peace. Rather than choosing to learn from my mistakes I often became annoyed, upset and embarrassed at myself. Memories and even old songs from specific eras would cause me to ask myself “how could you have been so stupid?”, “how embarrassing”, “how incomplete and messed up were we?..”. I looked back with so much regret and shame.

The above were feelings I put on myself, no doubt the flame being fanned by the enemy, who of course seeks nothing but to steal, kill and destroy. I had to decide to TRULY start seeing myself how God sees me. Not necessarily only in the present, but even how He looks at my past mistakes. I am beginning to fully take God at His Word, believing that He is giving me beauty for ashes, that He causes all things to work together for my good, even the insecure stupid acts of the past – How specifically? I am not sure, but I trust Him.

As of late, when I look back on my past, I celebrate that the Lord has brought me from a mighty long way. I give thanks that God didn’t leave me where I was. I have joy and am amazed that I now hold the character traits I thought I would never have the strength and courage to possess, such as self-control over certain thoughts and actions, saying goodbye to relationships and people that weren’t the best for me (or I for them), as well as setting and keeping personal boundaries and standards. Not only are these things active in my life, but they are getting strengthened each day, as I continue to surrender to the Lord, ask for His help, and remain open to spiritual pruning (old mindsets being renewed, toxic defense mechanisms being released and removed).

I released and continue to release myself from my own mistakes and stupidity of the past, as I have asked and received the gift of salvation, repentance, and renewal from the Lord. I pray I continue to trust God’s process with me, going from faith to faith, forgetting those things that are behind and pressing ahead.

I truly am relieved to be relieved of my own self-inflicted pain of the past.

Pressing on, I pray you continue to press on as well!